Dance of the Garden Gnomes
by NoobFish
Summary: How do garden gnomes dance? They don't, of course... Sequel to Truth is a Garden Gnome


If you haven't read Truth is a Garden Gnome, you might want to go and read that first.

If you've already read that, you might want to leave a review there too.

Anyway, without further ado, the long awaited sequel: Dance of the Garden Gnomes!

* * *

It was crazy-talk. It simply had to be.

Kim couldn't have been happier for Ron when she found out that he'd finally got a date to the SpringFling; his first date, no less. She'd known that look anywhere; Ron had a secret and he wasn't telling who she was. With a lot of tickle-attacks and finally wrestling him to the ground and pulling his arm into a submission hold, he was finally ready to give in and reveal his secret date.

If only the gods didn't have such a cruel sense of humor.

Twenty minutes later, and in tears of pain, she knew he wasn't lying. She wished he was, but he just wasn't.

Her mind railed against her. Of _all_ people, why _her?_ She knew that several girls who would consider going out with him; there was Zita and Tara and Hope… And that quiet girl Penny from Biology too.

Heck, even Bonnie may have gone, if just to get under Kim's skin! The brunette might have been high school evil, but at least she's never killed anyone before. At least, not yet. She might have only maim, assassinate and massacre people's characters and reputation so far. But surely, even Bonnie was better than _her_!

She remembered that sad look on Ron's face. That he knew he'd done something wrong and risked her disapproval. That same sad look a puppy would give its owner, when it'd soiled the carpet and know that it had done something wrong even though it couldn't help itself. She knew that he knew what she was going to say next.

Oh, how Mount Kim had erupted, and she was ready to bury Ron with layers of molten lava and all kinds of hurt, but… Before she could do any of that, she had instinctively screeched out, _"Oh my god, Ron, inviting Shego to the Spring Fling? That is the stupidest thing you have ever done!" _

In all her life, she'd prided herself on one thing, and that was that she'd never called Ron stupid. He might have been a few apples short of a basket at times, and his mind was often way up in the clouds, but one thing she was sure was that Ron was anything but stupid… Regret washed over her the moment she heard herself say those words. It just wasn't the sort of thing a best friend would say. It wasn't the thing a partner in a world saving team would say. And it had stopped the infamous Mount Kim dead in her tracks.

If she felt ill from her own words, then Ron looked devastated. The hurt was evident in his eyes. Kim winced at the pain she had caused, and she sort of felt a tremor of fear wash over her when Ron stood up and looked her in the eye. Although she knew that Ron would never hit her, Kim also knew that she had crossed the line. Yet, he didn't raise his hands or his voice.

"_So are you the __only one between us that can go to the Spring Fling with__ a date then, Kim?" _he asked in a pained voice. _"What about me? __It's my Spring Fling too, and__ I don't want to waste another one just hanging out with the other losers at the back of the hall. You're already going with Josh; in fact you two planned it months ago. But no one wanted to go with me. I just want to remember that I went to the __Spring Fling with a beautiful girl, and we danced the night away. That's all I'm asking for, Kim." _

"_But… But…"_ Kim had stammered awkwardly. His words stung, not just because of what she said, but also because of what she was trying to do. He had called her out on her selfishness, and she knew that every word was true. _"But you could always ask Monique… Or Tara… Or Hope…" _

"_Kim, you know as well as I do,"_ Ron shook his head sorrowfully. _"They've already got dates. In fact, every girl I could think of already had a date or had something else to do on that night, except for Hope, and that got ruined. I mean, you were standing right there when Jessie stormed up and bumped me out of the way when she was asking me to the dance, all 'She's going with me, Loser!'…"_

Ron's ranting had started to reach a neurotic level, but he paused and took a series of deep breaths. Finally calming down slightly, he sighed as he stared at his best friend since pre-K, "_Kim, I finally got a date on my own. I know you and Shego don't see eye to eye, but she said yes, and she promised to be good."_

She sighed heavily... Maybe if she had paid more attention to him, her best friend for so many years, she would have understood how he felt. Having to be a wallflower all those years and watching everyone have the time of their lives. Guilt welled up in her heart. Her best friend deserved better than that.

Heck, Ron deserved a lot better than Shego, for that matter. But since he had his heart so set on this… Kim had made up her mind to take a step back and hope for her best friend's happiness.

But she still needed to lay down a couple of ground rules. No super powers, no evil plots, no criminal activity and absolutely, under no circumstances, trying to turn Ron or anyone else evil.

She had even gone to Drakken's lair and confronted the green-skinned villainess to make sure she was clear about the rules. Shego had seemed… Giddy? She had nodded her head with a distant look in her eyes, as she held up a tight, form-fitting black dress against her body and asked Kim whether it looked good on her. Shego seemed so set on going to Middleton High School's Spring Fling and it seemed like nothing was going to stop her…

"Kim!" someone called out loudly, causing the red-head to jump out of her reverie. She opened her eyes to see Monique shimmying up to her in a short red dress that ended just mid-thigh. "Girl, you okay?" Monique hollered to her over the loud, thumping trance song playing through the DJ's speakers. "You look like you need some fresh air."

"I'm fine, Mo'," Kim replied, as she smoothed down her baby blue evening gown.

"Where's Josh?" Monique asked curiously as she glanced through the crowd. "Wasn't he supposed to be with you?"

"Not since _she_ came!" Kim could barely hide the venom in her voice. Although Shego had kept to her word to keep the villain in her down to a minimum, she still was trouble with the capital 'T' dressed to the nines, starting with a pair of dominating stiletto heels.

"Well, I did suggest that little black number," Monique began, but Kim interrupted.

"That's not it…" Kim said with a half growl, "After the first few dances, he realized I was starting to pay more attention to Shego. He said he had some art to finish if I had to keep an eye on her. He understood that she was a villain and all that, and it was for Ron's sake…"

"And he's cool with that?" Monique asked in surprise.

"Yeah, I'm going to make it up to him this weekend. Movie and dinner at a fancy restaurant…" Kim allowed herself a small smile. She turned her attention back to the green skinned thief's antics with her latest dance partner, Brick Flagg. He had had his eyes basically glued on Shego since the woman had sashayed her way proudly into the gym hall dressed in a striking black backless dress that stretched the limits of decency.

Kim glowered at the mint-hued thief for a moment as she stood surveyed the dance floor for a moment, as though looking for her next victim. That didn't last long, as another of the school jocks walked up and asked her to dance. The blatant whore gave a half bow to the teen before starting to dance. Had she even bent over any further, she would have given the entire tenth grade a good view of her lace thong that was close to being pointless. Her large breasts had to be straining to burst out of her tight dress.

Of course, this brought Shego's entrance back to the forefront of Kim's mind. When she had strutted in on those stiletto heels like a cheap prostitute, all eyes, guys, girls, and even staff were instantly upon her. Even Bonnie had to shut up when the new alpha female strode in, oozing with sensuality and sexiness, despite her obvious rage at Brick's lack of attention to the teal eyed brunette's own rather risqué dress.

And right there beside her when Shego had walked in had been Ron, with the biggest grin she'd ever seen on him plastered across his face. That grin, however, was short-lived as his date for the night. From what Kim could tell, the immoral _criminal_ was clearly more than a little inebriated and flirtatious and had spent more time dancing erotically with other hot-blooded teenagers than paid any attention to Ron.

Kim had counted three girls bursting in tears and running out the front door so far. They must have caught their boyfriends in compromising positions with that indecent tramp.

"Note to self: She was just checking to see if my tonsils were okay is not an excuse…" she said quietly, not realizing she had spoken aloud.

"What was that, Kim?" Monique asked askance as she stared at the redhead.

"What?" Kim asked in return, trying to cover up her slip. At Monique's hard stare she blushed in a mix of anger and annoyance, answering a little more angrily than she had intended, "Look, she's obviously done something to make those girls run out crying! I'm sure Hope wouldn't have ditched Jason from just one danc-…"

"When all the guys start comparing their dates to _that_," Monique angled her head towards the woman who was dancing… No, _grinding_ her ass against any male body in sight. "I'm sure a few hearts are bound to be broken."

Kim gritted her teeth. A part of her wanted to go out there and give Shego the beat-down she deserved. After all of that shameless display of outrageous behavior, she'd forgotten the one person who actually brought her here. And there he was, sitting by himself, all alone in the corner. Like so many other school dances. "And to think I believed her when she said that she would be on her best behavior…"

"Maybe she just has a different idea what 'best behavior' means?" Monique said with a considering look at Shego. "Kim, I'd like to stay and let you vent, but this girl's gotta work her boy and not let this sexy little dress go to waste. I'm gonna give Shego a run for her money if it's the last thing I do. TTYL, BFGF."

Kim barely acknowledged her best girl friend leaving, as she glowered a little longer at Shego who was apparently having more than a good time. With a sigh, she pulled herself away and tried to do some damage control. Walking towards her long-time friend, she sat down next to Ron and brushed her shoulder against his, "Having a good time?"

"Oh, I… Kim?" he looked flustered, as he suddenly sat up straight and looked at her. "Yeah, it's great, haha… You know me, I'm having the time of my life. The Ron-man has been living it up."

"You don't look like you're having such a good time," Kim commented bluntly as she gave her friend the look.

"I…" Ron gulped as he looked at her before turning away. Even in the dark, she knew that her best friend was burning up in shame.

"She hasn't asked you back out to the dance floor, has she?"

"Y-… Ah… No…" Ron sighed again, his shoulders slumping in defeat and tilted his hair back. He tugged at the collar of his dad's hand-me-down suit that had been adjusted by his mom just the night before. With a dejected voice, he muttered to himself, "KP, I know what you're going to say, but before you say anything, I just want to say this first: Kim, you're right, and this is definitely the _stupidest_ thing I have ever done and I'm sorry that I didn't…"

"Ron," Kim shook his shoulder a little hard. It was tough to talk to Ron when he was in one of his self-depreciating moods. "Ron, c'mon forget about her. You know she's not worth your time. She's a villain. Forget about her. Tell you what, why don't you and I go and dance?"

"Thanks, KP. But no thanks," Ron shook his head glumly. "I rather just sit here in this corner where I belong."

She sighed; she knew exactly how he felt. "Don't worry, Ron," she said sternly, "I'll fix this."

Walking towards the dancing crowd, she waded her way through the undulating teens until she came upon just the person she was looking for. Gripping the startled guy's shoulder, she snarled through her teeth, "Take a walk, Brian! Aren't you forgetting Jessica?"

Brian looked meekly at the angry girl and knew better than to piss someone with Kim Possible's reputation off. Almost immediately, however, he glanced over at the seductive goddess in his arms. She had one hand up holding his and his other hand was wrapped around her svelte waist. She was swaying so seductively to the music, and he had hoped that he could maneuver her towards the edge of the dance floor where it was dark and priv-…

A sharp stinging pain shot through his shoulder, and he realized that one furious red-head had dug her nails into him. With a whimper of pain, he quickly changed his mind and scooted away into the crowd to look for his girlfriend that was no doubt steaming somewhere.

"Oh, hey Kim…" Shego's eyes flicked up and glanced briefly at the red-head. "It's only you…" She angled her head over her shoulder and scanned the crowd briefly, only to be jerked away by Kim.

"Shego!" Kim muttered angrily as she grabbed Shego's wrist.

"Hey Princess!" Shego remarked in an annoyed fashion. She stopped short before taking a deep breath, and with a charming, seductive grin. "Just so you know I don't do girls, but just for you…"

"Can it, Shego," Kim cut her off. She pulled the older woman towards the back of the gym where the refreshments were, far from any prying eyes and curious ears.

With a small shrug, Shego gave her a reproaching look. "Gee, who's the party pooper?" Shego quipped, before continuing with sarcasm dripping from her voice. "Aren't you having fun? If I knew I'd have so much fun, I'd drop by sooner…"

"Stop it, Shego," Kim hissed through her teeth, missing the sarcasm in Shego's voice as she tightened her grip on Shego's wrist. "You're way out of control."

Whipping her wrist away from the teen, Shego narrowed her eyes. "Watch it, Princess…" she warned the young teen dangerously. "Talk to me like that again and you'll find yourself in a fight you can't handle."

"Quit the theatrics, Shego! I only agreed not to call the police if you promised not to cause any trouble…"

"And I've been a really good girl," Shego purred as she laughed to herself.

"Oh yeah?" Kim replied with a sneer as she jerked her head towards the refreshments table. "Don't tell me: it wasn't you who spiked the punch?"

Shego gave an innocent shrug as she smiled smugly at the teenager. "Y'know, I'm not the only bad girl in Middleton High School. I can _assure_ you that I was nowhere near the punch bowl. After all, with you watching me like you wanted to get into my panties all night, there's no way I _could_ have done that…"

Kim gritted her teeth, knowing that she didn't have any hard evidence on her. "Stop it, before I report you. And quit acting like a slut and breaking couples up like you have all night…"

"Princess," Shego growled lowly, her face suddenly stern, "Watch who you call a slut! Because I'm going to plant these heels of mine so far up your ass that you'll need stomach surgery to remove them!"

"Oh yeah?" Kim screeched in fury. "Shego, I'm warning you! Stop giving other people a hard time!"

"Look here, Princess. I came here to have a good time, and that's exactly what I intend to do!" Shego shot back nastily.

"No, Shego," Kim corrected her sharply. "You came here as Ron's date… And that's the only reason you're still here…"

"Ron?" Shego sounded surprised, and then threw out a nonchalant shrug. Her reply, however, oozed with annoyance, "Look, if he _really_ wanted to dance with me, all he had to do was to cut in…"

"So much for gratitude," Kim remarked snidely as she threw up her hands in frustration. "After he nursed you back to health… Honestly, Shego, I think you better leave now…"

"Who do you think you are, trying to kick me out?" Shego started to clench her teeth at the insufferable, self-righteous red-head. "I've already played by your rules! So leave me alone, okay? I have had enough crap for tonight already and I don't need you telling me what to do!"

"Of course," Kim growled, putting her hands on her hips. "Of course, how could I forget? You don't need _me _to tell you what to do. You're the great and powerful villain, Shego. You do whatever you want, take whatever you want and _hurt_ whoever you want. You want to know something?" Kim strode forward and grabbed Shego's dress just above her bosom, tugging the older woman close "You can take that selfish attitude and stick it up your… Argh!"

Kim looked down in horror at the growing stain of grape juice on the bodice of her light colored dress. She raised her eyes in a rage to see a smirking woman holding an upturned empty plastic cup. "Whoops," Shego drawled sarcastically. "I guess _you_ shouldn't have done that."

"You did that on purpose!" Kim gasped in shock.

"My, that looks like a difficult stain to get out." Shego continued blithely, twirling the cup around in a negligent manner.

"Why you…"

"Tut-tut, Princess," Shego waggled a finger at her warningly. "Like I said, you don't want to start a fight you can't fini-…"

"Shego!"

Kim and Shego whirled around to see the source of that angry outburst. There stood Ron with a dark look on his face, clenching his fists angrily as he glared at Shego.

"Ron?" Shego looked in surprise at the blond's sudden outburst. Her brows narrowed a moment when Ron stood protectively in front of Kim. "It's about time the _sidekick _finally shows up…" Shego started, her voice rising as she pointed a finger at Ron, "Where have you been all nigh-…"

"Shut up, Shego." The venom in his voice was more than chilling. Even Kim had never heard him talk like this, and the tone shocked Shego into silence. "I don't want to talk to you." Brushing past the woman, Ron grabbed Kim's hand and pulled her towards the door of the school. "C'mon Kim, let's get you home before the stain sets in."

"Hey, wait a minute!" Shego called after his back, her sharp tone stopping him in mid step.

"Don't say another word, Shego," Ron growled to no one as he kept his eyes fixed on a spot on the floor four feet in front of him. "Kim's right… Asking you to the dance was definitely the _stupidest_ thing I have ever done." Shego winced at his words; his tone was bitter and self-depreciating.

"You know what the guys said here tonight when you showed up, Shego?" Ron asked bitterly. "They said that the only way I'd ever get a date like you is if I had paid for you. But I stood up for you anyway, and said you were a friend."

"I…" Shego began, but Ron cut her off, continuing as if she hadn't spoken.

"And when you started dancing with everyone else, they said that you were using me anyway. But I said I was cool with it and wanted you to have fun anyway." Ron's shoulders noticeably dropped as he spoke. "I didn't care that you were giving everyone else a lot more attention than me. I didn't care that you were dancing with everyone else but me. Heck, I didn't even care that you were having a lot more fun. But what you did to Kim…"

Ron tugged at Kim's hand, before talking in a softer and calmer voice to her, "Let's go, KP. I'm sorry I ruined your night too."

"It's okay, Ron," Kim gave his hand a reassuring squeeze before throwing a venomous look at Shego. "Let's get out of here."

"Ron, wait…" Shego reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't even _touch_ me, Shego! I wish I had never asked you out tonight. I wish I had never even met you at all. I hate you! I hate you even more than I hate those garden gnomes! I hate you!" With those final words, he quickly strode out of the school's gym and into the parking lot. Kim threw one last look at the stunned woman before hurrying after Ron.

Shego stood helplessly rooted to her spot as she watched the two teens leave. She wrung her hands and tried to summon up some semblance of righteous anger. After all, it wasn't her fault. It simply wasn't… Was it?

With a loud sigh, she looked up and asked, "What am I supposed to do now?" She felt someone tap her shoulder, and a handsome young man stood next to her asking politely for a dance. She found herself shaking her head sharply, before giving a polite excuse and walking towards the parking lot exit. She fished her keys out of her purse; she just needed to get out of here…

* * *

Yawning, Kim wiped her face with the towel before heading back to her bedroom. She'd already changed into her pajamas and had washed the stain as best as she could with sparkling water before soaking the dress in a basin of water with light detergent. With any luck, the stain would be completely removed by morning.

She sighed as she stepped into her bedroom. Everyone's night had been ruined, no thanks to Shego. Maybe if she had just paid enough attention to Ron and helped him look for a date, then maybe… Her eyes quickly narrowed as she noticed her opened window. She clearly remembered shutting it before leaving the house this evening. Instinctively, she slid into her ready stance, cautiously surveying her room and watching the shadows in the corner closely. Before her eyes could adjust to the darkness, a morose voice spoke out.

"Kim, I'm not here to fight."

"Yeah right," Kim scoffed as she recognized that voice anywhere. "Come out, Shego, so that I can kick your butt from here back to Drakken's lair. I've been dying to do that all night."

"Can we save the fight for another day? I'm not in the mood…" Shego muttered with a tired sigh. She reached out and flicked the switch on the bedside lamp, illuminating the entire room with a warm light. Gone was her evening dress, nor was she in her jumpsuit; instead, she wore a teal turtleneck and black jeans with a pair of tennis shoe style hiking boots. "I just want to talk."

"You break into my room just to talk?" Kim opened her eyes incredulously. "You sure have a funny way of doing things…"

"Serious, Kim," Shego held up her hands as she sat on Kim's bed. "I just want to talk."

"And why should I even listen to you?"

"Look… I…" Shego started, before falling silent. "Okay, you don't have to, but… But it's about Ron."

"Oh, only now it's about Ron," Kim announced sarcastically, as she threw up her hands dramatically. "What? Couldn't you find one of the other boys to take you home tonight?"

"C'mon, Kim, you're not being fair…"

"And you are?" Kim accused her pointedly. "Tonight was supposed to be the best night of my best friend's life, because he finally got a date to go with him to the Spring Fling. Turns out that his date was a total bitch and danced the night away with every other boy in the school but him…"

"Look, I wasn't being a bi-…" Shego said tiredly, before falling silent. She looked directly at Kim and asked in a neutral tone, "How's he doing?"

"Like you care," Kim growled as she walked closer towards the surprisingly quiet woman. Her green eyes instantly narrowed at the boots on her sheets. With a throaty growl, Kim spoke, "If you want to sit on my bed, you'd better take your shoes off…"

"Oh, right," Shego mumbled absent-mindedly as she shucked her boots off and tossed them into a corner. Glancing at the smudge of dirt on Kim's sheets, she tried dusting it off with her hands by patting the sheets a few times. "There… Good as new…"

"That was sarcastic," Kim replied with a low voice. "I'm in no mood to talk to you. It's late, and don't you and Drakken have some plot to take over the world?"

"Oh, we're taking a break from that for a moment," Shego replied with a shrug. "Dr. D's off running errands for his mom for the week." Looking up at Kim, she pulled her feet back and sat cross-legged on Kim's bed. "Tell me, how's Ron doing?"

"I don't see why you should care," Kim said, sounding really annoyed. "I'm sure the last thin-…"

"Was I out of line?" Shego's murmur cut her tirade off.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… What Ron said… That he hated me," Shego muttered. "Did I deserve that?"

"Yes." Kim barely held back the anger in her voice.

With a defeated sigh, Shego replied sadly, "You didn't have to answer so bluntly, you know… I was just… I wasn't trying to hurt Ron at all." Shego stretched her feet out on Kim's bed and leaned against the headboard while looking at Kim for an answer.

"Sure you weren't," Kim snipped back. "I'm sure you made it very clear on the dance floor that Ron was the last thing on your mind."

Shego visibly winced at those words. "Kim…"

"Let me make this very clear for you. Do you actually know what you did to Ron tonight?" Kim asked dangerously as she stood over Shego with her arms across her chest. "You reminded him what a huge loser everyone says he is! He got turned down by all the other girls in school just because they had better dates, and you made it so clear to Ron that you were so much like all these other girls and you would prefer to go out with anyone else _but_ him. You barely even held hands with him the whole night! And the moment he went to get some drinks for the _both_ of you, he came back to find you dancing very intimately with _every _other guy on the dance floor."

"Look that's not my fa-…"

"Oh, come now, Shego! You expect me to believe that all that Patrick Swayze dirty dancing was _not your fault?_"

"I'm sure that's how it must have looked but…"

"That's exactly how it looked…"

"Kim, just let me exp-…"

"And I suppose you think that it's not your fault you stained my dress?"

"Okay, that was my fault... But…"

"What about breaking up Megan and Jason? That wasn't your fault too?"

"I was jealous, okay!" Shego raised her voice sharply, as she clenched her fists. Her outburst caught Kim by surprise. Taking the opportunity, she took a deep breath before she continued, "I was… Look… Boy, this is really… Oh boy…"

Kim shook her head with consternation, "You're nuts…"

"Hang on, Kim. Just give me a moment here… I'm just as confused by all of this…"

Kim snorted, but kept her peace. Dragging her chair from her table, she turned it around and sat down, propping her elbows on the backrest of the seat. Raising her eyebrows, she asked, "Yeah?"

"Maybe it would be easier if I started from what I saw…" Shego mumbled to herself. "Okay, it was good at first… I had a great time…"

"I'd say…"

"C'mon Kim, that's not fair… Just give me a chance to explain myself," Shego took another deep breath as she studied Kim's stern face. "It's like this; I had a great time dancing with Ron. Really… Then suddenly Ron asked me if I wanted some punch, and I just said yes… So he left me on the dance floor there waiting for him. You saw that, right? I mean, you were practically watching me like a hawk the whole night."

"Okay, I'll buy that…"

"And then, while I was waiting, this boy… I don't know his name… Brown hair, slicked back with gel, the sort of greasy Fonzie look that went out in the eighties?"

"That would be Jason…"

"Uh huh," Shego nodded her head absent-mindedly. "He just asked me to dance, and I just said yes, why not, right? I mean, let's not cause a scene here; that's one of your rules, right?"

"Right, but you didn't need to grope him."

"But I didn't!" Shego protested. "I kept it very PG… Even if his hands kept wandering down my backless dress, I smiled and stepped back a bit each time he did that."

"You expect me to believe that? After how you acted for the rest of the night?"

"Yeah, well," Shego shuffled nervously in her seat. "Just bear with me here for a moment, and I swear I'm telling the whole truth here. While I was dancing, I saw Ron chatting up this girl, blonde, bubbly, dressed in a nice peach-colored dress that went down just above her knees? I could see she was laying it on a bit thick, and Ron was totally buying it…"

"Back up a moment," Kim stopped Shego there. "You're telling me that Ron… No, Ron doesn't hit on girls… And the girl in the peach-colored dress? That was Tara! We're all on the same cheerleading team."

"I know what I saw, okay?" Shego's eyes flashed with anger. "I saw them talking, and laughing, and then Ron offered her _my_ drink."

"So what?" Kim asked hotly. "They're friends! Besides, Tara is hooked up with Kevin from the chess team, and they're a very tight couple!"

"Oh, really?" Shego raised an eyebrow accusingly. "Anyway, I was pretty sure Ron forgot all about me by the time _you_ and Monique came along. By then, I had already danced with a few other guys, and I didn't even know their names! So I decided to… Ah… Raise the stakes…"

"Raise the stakes?" Kim inquired, looking confused.

"Ah, you know, showed my moves? Bump and grind?" Shego tried a few innuendos.

"Oh!" Kim exclaimed sarcastically. "You mean, slut up the entire school gym like a stripper."

"I wasn't slutting up the school gym!" Shego protested angrily. "I was just trying to get Ron's attention so that he would remember that I was there on the dance floor! After all, he left me awkwardly there on the dance floor!"

"Oh really?" Kim looked skeptically at Shego. "From what we saw, and by we, I mean me, Monique and Ron, we came to the same conclusion that you were having a _very_ good time with the jocks on the dance floor…"

"No I wasn't!" Shego denied hotly. "You think I like their greasy, rough paws roaming all over me? I was waiting for Ron to come back and tell one of those stupid jocks to shove off!"

"Oh, come on, really? And how was Ron supposed to come in and tell those stupid jocks to shove off?"

"I don't know… Kick their asses or something…" Shego shrugged. "Like the sort of stuff he does in Dr D's lair."

"And spend the rest of his school life in detention?" Kim suggested incredulously. "Those _jocks_ have been giving Ron crap since the very first day he walked into Middleton High, and the _only_ reason he hasn't stood up for himself yet is because when push comes to shove, he's going to be the one expelled for fighting."

"Oh…" Shego looked a little dejected. "But... But he could have just cut in anytime he wanted to! All he had to do was ask…"

"Oh, I don't know… Maybe it's because from the look of things, you didn't actually leave any _space_ for him to cut in. And maybe he thought you were having the time of your life out there! And maybe he didn't want to ruin your fun! Ever thought of that, Shego?" Kim challenged. "All he ever did was think of you, and here you are, playing your stupid mind games, slutting up the dance floor like there's no tomorrow…"

"I really wasn't slutting up the entire dance floor! Christ, Cupcake, I only danced with a dozen other guys…" Shego looked at Kim in despair. At Kim's glower, however, she blushed slightly and looked up, thinking for a brief second. "Okay, maybe more, but who's counting?! I just wanted to get Ron back out there… Ah… Fuck…" She hung her head low as she buried her face in her hands. "I really screwed up, didn't I?"

"Yeah you did…" Kim replied bluntly.

"He must really hate me now…" Shego shook her head.

"Yup, he does," Kim nodded as she got up from her seat. "Now that we got that settled, would you please get out of my room?"

"Wait…" Shego stopped her. "Wait, Kim… I want to make it up to Ron. I don't want him to hate me."

"Why do you care whether he hates you or not?" Kim asked. "I don't think you really care what Ron thinks of you; after all, you keep calling him a buffoon…"

"He's not a buffoon!" Shego protested loudly as she leapt to her feet. Realizing that she had shouted those words, she quickly let go and sat back down, shuffling in her seat uncomfortably. Finally sighing, she looked at Kim with a pained, but sincere gaze, "Y'know, Ron, he… He took care of me when I was sick. Really sick. Like I was fainting and throwing up all over my bed. Y'know… The most unerotic sight to a guy is a girl upchucking over his shirt?"

Kim just made a face.

Shego grunted, unsure what to say next. "But he just… I don't know… I don't know why he did it or how he could stand doing it. But he just took care of me, read me the newspapers and fed me until I got better. He stayed by my side for the entire first two days, and snuck in every day for over two weeks."

"Two weeks?" Kim's eyes opened wide in surprise. "I thought he only paid you a quick visit to ask you out. I was wondering where he kept sneaking off to. Okay, so he took care of you for two whole weeks, big deal…"

"Hmph," Shego smirked as she shook her head. "Maybe you don't get it now, but someday you will. Not all boys are golden the way you think." Shego laid back and put one hand behind her head, ticking off imaginary checkmarks in the air with the other.

"One, he's really not that bad looking… Not hot, but kinda cute, and has definite potential with a little work… Two, the fact that the guy is willing to put up with a woman being sick and puking all over him?" Her eyes grimaced in distaste, but her smile never left, and if anything grew, almost in proportion to Kim's eyes. "That says he's loyal, even if he barely knows someone…"

Shego thought for a moment, not seeing Kim's mouth dropping open wider and wider in time with her eyes. The mint-hued thief continued, smiling slightly, "Anyway, he talks to me like I'm normal… He considers me beautiful, and when he asked me out, he said as much, but didn't say anything about my skin tone, or just talk about my boobs or ass… All that, and he can keep up with you physically on missions? Those are _definitely_ signs that he's a keeper…"

"Oh. My. God." Kim's eyes widened in horror as a lightning bolt of realization hit her and fried her sanity. Suddenly, _everything _made sense. Shego's giddiness at the prospect of going to the Spring Fling, the new dress she had proven with receipts she'd paid to buy and alter to fit her perfectly, her ready acceptance of Kim's strict rules, her jealousy over Ron talking to Tara, Monique and herself… The pieces all just fitted together in some bizarre, sanity-twisting Twilight Zone fashion.

"I don't believe it! You're _crushing_ on Ron! You're _crushing_ on my best friend! That's why you're here! That's why you want to know how he's doing! That's why you're jealous! That's why you're so hurt by Ron's words! That's why… Oh my god! You're actually _crushing_ on Ron!"

"What?! No!" Shego howled in denial as she grabbed Kim's pillow and threw it at the dumbstruck red-head. "I'm not!"

Kim easily grabbed the pillow and curled it up close to her stomach as she roughly plunked herself down on the bed next to Shego, so that her face was inches away. Staring deep into her eyes, Kim found herself gasping, "No way! You're _really_ crushing on him!"

"Am not!" Shego fumed angrily as she shoved the red-head's face out of her way. "Shut it, Princess, or you're going to find my foot down your throat."

Suddenly the familiar four-tone beep of the Kimmunicator sounded from underneath the pillow. Kim sat straight up with a confused and worried look on her face, glancing at the device which was hidden from Shego by the pillow. Her face lit up in a gleeful grin and she announced brightly, "Oh, that'll be Ron… He must want to say good night…" She pulled the Kimmunicator from behind the pillow and raised it as if ready to answer the call.

"No! Don't answer that!" Shego yelled as she lunged across the bed with outstretched claws, trying desperately to grab the device out of Kim's hands. Yet in her ungainly dive, she flew off the bed and fell face first on the carpeted floor.

"You got it bad…" Kim grinned evilly as she sing-songed the words. "You're crushing on Ron…" With a devilish smirk, she held up the Kimmunicator, and much to Shego's chagrin, the device beeped when Kim thumbed the "OK" button, resaving her standard ringtone to the device.

"Leave me alone," Shego grumbled, sounding hurt from her undignified position at the foot of the bed. "I didn't come here to have you make fun of my feelings."

"C'mon, get over here…" Kim ordered. "Slumber party time."

"What?"

"Get under the sheets. We're going to have a girl-to-girl talk."

"About what?"

"About the way you've been treating Ron like a jerk."

"I'm still really sorry about that. I didn't mean to… To get carried away …"

"Enough with the excuses, Shego. Now, as Ron's best friend, I got to judge whether you're good enough for him."

"What?"

"It's all part of the best friend job description."

"You got to be kidding me, Princess…" Shego gaped at the red-head.

"Let me put it to you this way," Kim replied smugly. "You messed up with Ron. Big time. And you came to me for help. You need my help. So before I decide to help you, I need to know why a first-class bitch like you deserves my best friend, Ron…"

"I am not…" A curt glance from Kim with an upraised eyebrow made her reconsider her words. "Okay, maybe I have been a little bitchy. To be honest, I never went to any of my own school dances…"

"Fine, but that doesn't excuse you from hurting Ron." Kim pointed out bluntly. "So you want my help or not?"

"I…" Shego looked away and sighed, "Yeah, I guess…"

"Alright, but first let's get some things straight. I will consider helping you, but it depends on what you tell me tonight," Kim replied haughtily, holding up a finger in Shego's face.

"I…" Shego glanced nervously at the red-head, before settling back down next to Kim under the blankets. "Alright, anything you want…"

"No big, Shego," Kim replied, with a sinister grin on her face, "Now, first question…"

* * *

**Author's Notes**

Ah, a sequel. Finally. Okay, you might think what does this chapter have to do with Garden Gnomes? Seriously? I don't know. But I must bluff my way out if I'm to say I'm a writer, right? Alright, pretty much it's because there can be an allegory drawn here, to parallel garden gnomes, with their social awkwardness and Ron's and Shego's misunderstanding that arose from not knowing how to handle a social conundrum like that.

The imagery is further heightened by Ron sitting at the back of the gym, where he is like a garden gnome among the wallflowers, an implicit link to the garden gnome theme, and he insists that he belongs there, just like a piece of décor. Meanwhile, Shego's the one left standing in the middle of the dance floor. And therein lies the other link, she is a woman alone in the crowd of teens; much like a garden gnome of exquisite craftsmanship in a gaggle of unfinished ones standing out uncomfortably while being part of the crowd.

And despite trying to blend in, there's some sort of implicit feeling that they don't belong where they are, you know, like how a garden gnome just doesn't belong on anyone's front lawn, yet would indeed fit nicely in the garden they're designed for? I would somehow write this into the story, but somehow it just doesn't fit anywhere as nicely? After all, I didn't give Ron many speaking lines, and he's the only one who would draw this kind of comparison between Shego and a garden gnome.

Alright, that's enough crap for today. Later, guys and girls.


End file.
